esoterical girlblogging˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

date: 02/09/2025, the start

mood: at peace.

[.・。.・゜✭・.୭ ˚. ᵎ i love the idea of laying my thoughts out, with no trace back to me. to you, i'm just a stranger, and you can read my entire life because i'm oversharing on this silly little page. i think this is oddly comforting, i think it's oddly comforting to read someone else's thoughts, but that's just me. i want to have no filter on here.

i'm also starting this page because i'm very interested in documenting my life in some way, reading back on how things have changed over the years, i love the idea of starting something like that. i've been journaling for a while, but i wanna take it to a personal blog, i love this. i hope in some microsopic way this can be inspirational to you, or whoever happens to read this.

i'm not intending on anyone to see this, but if you do, hello. all you need to know is i'm a 16 year old girl at the time of writing this, and this is my life, and you're reading my life. there are no external links to this page. ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ. .・。.・゜✭・.

date: 02/09/2025,

mood: at peace.

[.・。.・゜✭・.୭ ˚. ᵎ im passionate about so many things, i luvv music sm i have over 5k liked songs on spotify. adore writing and poetry,i'm so passionate about poetry. i luv thrifting, i luvvv digi cams, i really want a digital camera.i think documenting your life is like art. i love photography, i love artistically beautiful things, symbolism, love anything that invokes feeling and has deeper meaning below the surface, something to be perceived. the collection of physical media, vinyls and cds, owning a cd player. i would love to create things, curate things, that bring out an emotional response in other people, that make them feel things too.

i luv authentic raw self expression like be who you are at your core. i love creating art for urself, even when no one else understands it. i luv to ponder, i luv obscure things, things that are left up to interpretation, things that don't make sense, things that stand out, love avant garde, i luv walking, i love plants and lilies and tea, i love making wall collages. i love bread with butter. i love feeling the sun on my skin, i love pretty light, i love lip liners, i adore architecture, im so passionate about the ornate design of victorian and colonial architecture. i love interior design too, the energy and feel of a space, lighting fixtures, i love all of it.

i luvv video editing to songs i adore, collage editing, visual edits, anything that i imagine when listening to a song, bringing those visuals to fruition . i lovee candles, scented things, heart lana del rey and jeff buckley. love 60s makeup and hair, luv all cats (all of em) love modeling and fashion, i need the sofia coppola archive book. luv girls, i luv vanilla perfume, love mascara, i love being a girll, i luv makeup i have so much makeup.୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ. .・。.・゜✭・.

date: 02/09/2025

mood: i have to poo

[.・。.・゜✭・୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ..honestlyy i luv distressing movies so much like give me it, i wanna cry im a strange girl what can i say,.my fav movies, ✭cmbyn, ✭mysterious skin, ✭beautiful boy, ✭eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, ✭bones and all, ✭requiem for a dream, ✭whiplash, ✭brokeback mountain. i could sit and rant about my favorite movies and why i love them, i might do that later on its my blog cuhh

i luv coquette girly classics 𝒔𝒐𝒇𝒊𝒂 𝒄𝒐𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒍𝒂 𝒇𝒊𝒍𝒎𝒔 𝒐𝒇𝒄, ✭the virgin suicides, ✭priscilla, ✭black swan, ✭palo alto, ✭girl interrupted, ✭buffalo 66. ੈ♡˳˚

wanna see dead poets society, good will hunting ੈ♡˳˚ follow my letterboxd if you so please @𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 .・。.・゜✭・.

date: 02/10/2025

mood: living loving being a girl

[.・。.・゜✭・.୭ recently i've been in my lana era, i've came full circle. i listened to lana sooo much at 14, 15, (i'm 16 now) and it's came completely back to me, but even harder. i've been listening to her more than ever, even her unreleased albums too. lana 4 life literally girls

ultraviolence has served me well this winter. i love lana with my whole heart, i love her poetry, i love her music, i want her poetry book. my favorite song is venice bitch,(i listen to all 9 minutes every time) live love lana. also recently i made an ultraviolence edit and it's genuinely art i'll have to attach a link.

speaking of artists i've been recently indulging in, OMG. jeff buckley.. my heart.. my soul.... i love jeff buckley with my entire being. you're gonna have to pry the grace vinyl out of my cold dead hands. i love jeff buckley so much, i wanna listen to his entire discography. i've been listening to "sketches for my sweetheart the drunk" and "live at sin-e". oh my goddd "live at sin-e" is such an amazing album. everytime i listen to it i get really sad because i'll never hear jeff buckley live,omg it literally makes me cry that ill never hear him live. like why did you have to drown you could've just swam? i'm heartbroken. ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ. .・。.・゜✭・.

date: 02/10/2025

mood: sleepy

[.・。.・゜✭・.୭ the start of an era; my wall collage. recently i've been printing out 2x3 pictures from my pink kodak printer (so cute) and put them on my wall. omg i love it so much. it has lana del rey, movies i like, (black swan, buffalo 66, palo alto) it's so coquette it's so girly im in love.

it has little flowers i've cut out and put on the wall too, it's sooo beautiful to look at and it's just gonna keep growing. it's more than just a wall collage to me its literally my soul.

i've wanted to make a wall collage for sooo longg, i've had a pinterest board for ages just piling up pictures that i imagined i would use in a wall collage, and now the time has come. it's here..୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ. .・。.・゜✭・.

date: 02/10/2025

mood: oh so quiet

[.・。.・゜✭・୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ.when i was like 12, i used to edit all the time. it's kind of embarrassing actually, but i was really passionate about it. i would spend hours making edits. like even 4 hours at a time. i always felt so accomplished after i made an edit, i would watch it back like "omg.. i made this."

you know what, i missed that feeling of accomplishment, so i've started editing again, i made an editing tiktok which is lowkey embarrassing but it's okay because im good at it LMAO. i made a lana edit and its a work of art, and it got like 5k views hellooo??? ੈ♡˳˚

maybe i'll look back later and find this newfound surge of motivation to edit sooo cringe but it's okay because i'm just a girl and i'm happy and living sooooo.୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ. .・。.・゜✭・.

date: 02/10/2025

mood: i should be sleeping

[.・。.・゜✭・.୭ these are just my thoughts and i'm living right now, at my keyboard, coding, typing this out. i'll think about this later, it will be a memory.

i should be asleep right now, but i'm not. i took 10mg of melatonin but i'm still awake, its 2:44am. it's been snowing for a month straight legitimately, im so tired of this coldness. i miss summer so badly, i cant wait for everything to come, im in this state of perpetual excitement for myself and my life. also i really want a caesar salad right now its killing me.

recently i've been wanting to go blonde more than ever, it's like this overbearing force has taken over me, and the bleach teleported into my hand, or i teleported into the salon (i wish). i wanna go blonde so badly it's going to happen. also im getting hair extensions and im really excited about that like omg i'm gonna look so fire. also i've started fake tanning recently and it looks really good on me. theres so many things that have excited me recently, enlightened me, (the idea of getting a belly piercing) i love being a girl and being so pretty୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ. .・。.・゜✭・.

date: 02/10/2025

mood: pondering

[.・。.・゜✭・.୭ i really want to treat this blog as if i imagine no one else will see it, my thoughts and heart on display, theres something so comforting about that, but also so inspirational. i want to dump my entire life on here and whoever stumbles across it just happens to stumble across it. i love the idea of that.

i tend to go in deep perpetual thought about things, i want to carry all of those thoughts here and pour them out on this silly little website, that's art to me. i don't want this blog to be traced back to me. however i want it to feel like you're stepping into the mind of another person, me!

i want to be able to forget about this blog then maybe come across it years later like those really dramatic time capsules that people bury in the ground. ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ. .・。.・゜✭・.

date: 02/10/2025

mood:

[.・。.・゜✭・.୭ i usually feel like i have the ability to read people, but maybe im completely wrong. as you can only view people with a perception of who you are plastered onto it, and the idea that you notice things in others because they exist in you. you can only view people as far as youve met yourself. i love giving things deep thought and its a gift and undoubtedly human. however, i tend to overthink. I really don't like that about myself. my mind is constantly thinking about things all of the time and it leads me to feel stressed, perpetually anxious.

i love feeling grounded i love feeling at peace, i love meditation. i love prioritizing my peace, i love lighting candles, and meditating. i think its so important to set designated time to reconnect with yourself, simply just to feel grounded with the energy that surrounds you. sometimes i feel so grateful to be alive, to exist and feel things to the extent that i do and to live as myself. i think its beautiful to be alive and existence is inherently innocent. if you have the chance to establish or create deep connections with anyone around you you should always take that opportunity.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ. .・。.・゜✭・.

date: 02/10/2025

mood:

[.・。.・゜✭・.୭ what you allow into your space infiltrates itself into your mind, you become what you surround yourself with. the human brain is like a sponge, constantly in a state of soaking up information and perceiving surrounding things. you become what you surround yourself with, what you allow around you, and in your space. my favorite word is perception, everyone has a different perception of things in their lives. every human has a way of ultimately perceiving things, i find myself taking great interest in this. everyone views things differently from environmental factors in the way they were raised, and through memories/hardships theyve experienced in their lives, this leads humans to all perceive things differently.

perception is so important. theres a quote thats like "the perceiver of the art says more than the creator of the art" the way in which the art is perceived says more about the perceiver of the art than the creator of the art. so interesting how art can have one simple meaning yet be perceived differently by millions of people, it could be a song, a painting, poetry. every human has a different perception and sense of relatability within the ideas of their lives.

a sense of relatability, familiarity is created through art from the ways in which we perceive it. artists of songs when asked to explain the meaning behind it, some choose to stay quiet; to keep the perception up to the eyes of the beholder. art means infinitely more when it is personal, a sense of relatability in place. ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ. .・。.・゜✭・.

date: 02/10/2025

mood:excited, happy

[.・。.・゜✭・.୭ hello myself. i'm writing this because i'm very excited right now, i could be moving into a new house. it would be the nicest house we've ever had. it's so beautiful, it has a sun room, it's a big house, the neighborhood is really nice, and it's by a river. i really hope we get this house. i'm just imagining myself living there.

theres a handful of things i've been excited for recently. i got a job application, i'm really excited to start working. i love money i'm always thinking about things i wanna buy. (i'm just a girl)

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ. .・。.・゜✭・.

date: 02/12/2025

mood:slightly sad

[.・。.・゜✭・.୭ he's been upsetting me, i only want him but he's been talking to other girls. i feel like he doesn't know that i want him. he told me he loves me and wants us to be something, but i see him add other girls. it's been confusing with him. i don't like the way i'm affected by him emotionally.

i want nothing more than a deep conversation with him, i think he wants that too, but we don't know where to start. it's frustrating because i want to know him soso badly,and he wants to know me. i feel like the more i care about him, the more i end up hurt. it's like he doesn't know that i care, but i do. i care so helplessly. i want to distance myself from him because i don't want to end up hurt. i don't know what we are. we're so complicated.

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ. .・。.・゜✭・.

date: 02/14/2025, valentines

mood:at ease, delicate

[.・。.・゜✭・.୭ today was valentines day, and i bought myself a pretty pink rose. it's a pretty baby pink, (so pink so pretttyyy), i'm preserving it in my room on my bedside table. it isn't just a rose to me, it's symbolic, metaphorical. the baby pink rose is myself, my purity and love of myself. i feel so beautiful and feminine, i feel delicate and gentle. i bought some small makeup items i've been wanting recently, i did my makeup and hair so nicely today. i curled the ends of my hair outwards with a roundbrush. my nails looked pretty and long, too. i've been missing having pretty press on nails, i've gotten used to having 1 inch long press-ons and i've missed having them.

i deep cleaned my room, admired my space, and my pretty singular rose. i know that no matter what i feel in my life, no matter what happens, there's always a point where energy flows and i will be brought back to a state of peace. a state of stillness, being at ease. i know this because energy is in constant motion, nothing ever stays the same, not even you. not even me, and i make peace with this tonight. i welcome change for me, and hopefully you welcome it for you, too.

goodnight. ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ. .・。.・゜✭・.

©repth

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